The Power of Meaningful Connections

How Small Character-Based Interactions Can Create Lasting Bonds

This is part of my “Art of Noticing” series, in which I learn, find, or discover the things around me that usually go unnoticed and turn them into an endless source of creative inspiration.

NOTE: The last of these “Noticings” blog posts will run on April 13th. I’m going to keep recording the 9-minute daily podcast on which these posts are based, though, so if you want to keep your dose of daily Noticings, be sure to subscribe to the Art of Noticing podcast here on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

(You could also listen here on Substack, but that’s a miserable way to listen to a podcast so I don’t recommend it. Do yourself a favor and use a podcast app so you can listen on your commute or at the gym or something.)

I’ve discovered the best sushi restaurant in the universe. It’s called Sushi Kadan and it’s just north of Dallas.

(Don’t email me and tell me you know better sushi places. I’m being hyperbolic, but this place puts a MOTHERFUCKING COMPLETE LOBSTER TAIL over their rolls and sells it for less than a fortune … so, you know.)

We visited it last year a few times, so I was excited when a recent volleyball tournament took us back to Dallas. The owner remembered us. He’s awesome. He circulated the entire time, talking genuinely (i.e., no bullshitty false banter) to every table, returning to ours many times.

It got me thinking about the power of connection. I’d go back just for that guy, because he’s kind and because he clearly LOVES his work. We as writers can learn a thing or two.

Here's how this "noticing" can benefit my stories and art:

Adding Bonding Moments Between Characters

Even small exchanges can make real connections between characters if you manage to make the whole thing feel real and not like bullshit. If I write some opportunities for real, vulnerable interactions between characters through simple gestures, deep listening, or words of affirmation, that’s a great way to add depth.

You can write scenes that allow characters to be real and supportive with each other, rather than just thinking “more and more conflict 24/7!” Take a break instead and show characters who might otherwise not be close as moving past superficiality and into true connection. Just a short but meaningful interaction can become someone’s favorite scene.

Make Minor Characters Memorable

Brief exchanges with so-called “insignificant” characters can make your work feel all the more real. The taxi driver, the barista, the passerby … adding connecting moments can make them more authentic, not just cardboard cutouts.

A lively personality and simple personal details can turn a generic character into someone engaging. As the writers, it’s up to us to help even little players transcend temporary "roles" and make them instead into real people that readers remember.

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